Can we reach our goals no matter what?

Have you ever felt that you are displeased with something? That you feel that you could have been better at something? The last 10 years, I have probabely never been truly satisfied with my body. I have always been the “fat” girl in my schoolgroup, always been the biggest one. Don’t get me wrong, I am not fat, but I’ve always been the biggest one, been the one that ate the most, the weakest one when it comes to food etc… Those feelings, are bad feelings. The Secret telles us that if we feel bad, we get negative thoughts, and if we have negative thoughts, we attract more of those negative things into our lives. I have always just been satisfied with the fact, that I am the biggest one, and that I will always have some extra “rolls of fat”… Don’t get me wrong, I am not fat, but I am not fit either, and I train over 14 hours with swimming, 3 hours strength and 2 hours of core every week. Well, not now… I am sick, just lying on the sofa everyday…. I don’t want this, I don’t think anyone knows how badly I want to train, get sweat and get exhausted (in a good way). The doctors can’t figure out what is wrong with me, although they said that I suffer from something called “the good girl- syndrome”. That I am never satified with anything (especially not with myself), I stress about everything, I have difficulties with saying no…, etc…. Nevertheless, I have started a project. Because my imunsystem doesn’t work at all any more, I have descided not to eat sugar. Yepp, I’m gonna stop eating ice cream, chocolate, chips, fast food, soda, cookies etc. I do this for myself, because I want to be satisfied with my body. AND my imunsystem will probabely be better (I hope). I really hope I will get some results 🙂

Have a nice day!

Marte

Hey everyone!
Kristin mentioned earlier that we have been very busy lately. Our school have loaded us with exams, tests and presentations that needs to be done before the summer holiday, and even more exams! I have stressed alot. The picture explains everything I feel right now. Lately, I have felt that I do too much. I worry over the smallest things, and everything that happends to me affects me, mostly in a negativ way. I sort of go to a school were we train alot. Because I have been sick alot this year, I haven’t managed to train as much as I should have. Guess what? I’m lying here with the flu right now. This is the SEVENTH time since January… Maybe now, you understand my desperation? The doctors can’t figure out what is wrong with me. I take pills for my imunsystem, which should keep me up and going, but nothing helps. It is very frustrating to be an athlete, when you always get sick and can never “do your best”… I try to stay positive, but I gonna be honest, it is very hard. Lately I have figured out that I stress more than I am aknown. Well, everyone have actually told me that since I was a child. I get stressed over the smallest things. Like, if I can’t catch the bus, or about which school I want to go to in the future, if I sleep too little etc.. The smallest things… I work, I go to school, I train alot and I am suppose to be social and “keep up” about what happends in our society… I can’t do it all… I am human, although I would like to be a robot sometimes. My biggest concern now these days is a running test at my school. First of all, I used to be very good at running. But, because of my illness this year, my shape is not exactly good. I am not affraid of pain, it is just that If I get a bad grade, it will ruin my characters for getting in to lawschool. Stress. I have thought about this so much, that I got sick. The reason for why I stress so much, is because of what happened to my dad… I had to grow up back then, I got a responsiblity. Since then, I worry about everything.

What I am trying to say, is that stress = no good. I am really trying to stay positive, but it is really hard. I need to stress less, and maybe if you have some advices you want to share with me/us? 🙂 Don’t say yoga, I have tried that, but it doesn’t work for me, unfortunately…

I also want to say something tragic that has happened. Earlier this week, Norway’s biggest Olympic hope, Alexander Dale Oen, died. Kristin and me are both swimmers, and we can’t describe what emptiness we feel. First of all, he was/is our biggest rolemodel. He made Norway famous under VM when he won the distance 100 m breast, when he swam for Norway because of the horrible massacre that happened to our country on the 22th July. He died this Monday in Flagstaff, only 26 years old… He cried for Norway, now, Norway cries for him!

Rest in peace, Alexander. You will always be our rolemodel.

Marte

Since last time..

Some of you may wonder what we have been up to the last weeks? We made this blog to help us to have a better life, share our feelings, and to kill some time. But now, I don’t feel that big need to share my frustration, and I don’t have that much time to do it…. AND THAT’S A GOOD SIGN!

I’m still not totally recovered, but things are looking brighter. This week I have been able to swim three times, went to parties on friday and saturday, and that didn’t make me exhausted. I sometimes I still feel that everything is wrong, and I  have so many thoughts about how thing would have been right now if I never had the mycoplasma. How much my swimming could improved, and how happy I could have been because I have never had so much to look forward to before. And of course, sometimes I’m looking forward to it but other times I’m not that excited, and I’m thinking like “Why now? Why can’t all the things I want just wait, so I can recover, and do everything when I feel it’s right.”. I do have my thoughts, where I think all this could be just mental, like anxiety or a depression, because everything around have just felt so wrong the last months, like the world is just going on around me, and I’m just there. My doctor says it obviously physical, and I think he is right, but all this have made it’s impact on me. And I will truly be greatful for my good health when I’m recovered, and hopefully all this will make me stronger after all.

That was a little bit of my frustration, but I really wan’t to share some GOOD NEWS too! I am going to a vacation on Tuesday. I’m going to Fuerteventura in Spain with my family. It will be wonderful with some sun, and relaxing. Doesn’t that beach look amazing?

As I told you last post, I’ve got a hostfamily for my exchange year in USA. I have talked with them, and it’s way better than I could ever dream of. They live in suburb to Indianapolis, in a beautiful, big house, close to a lake. They have told me all the places they want to take me, and that they are very excited. I think the american dream is waiting for me just around the corner! I have been dreaming for this the last years, and now it happens. I hope I will be able to go, it all depends on how I’m feeling. I don’t want to travel to another continent just to feel sick, so I’m just going to wait and see. Please cross your fingers for me!

What more that makes me happy? It’s April, just a month to May, which is my favourite month. My birthday is in May, Norways national day is 17th of May, and I’m going to my cousins wedding in Scotland in May. After May, it’s June, and that means summer!

How are you doing?

Love Kristin

Emotional Rollercoaster

This weekend has been an emotional rollercoaster in many ways. I was in my grandfathers funeral on Friday. It was very, very sad. It was also very nice and honorable,  with many speeches and beautiful music. My cousin plays violin, and he played the “Song From a Secret Garden”. I can’t describe how beautiful and sad that was. Just look at the video of that song (that’s not my cousin playing, but a nice version).

I am very proud of myself, because I helped carry his coffin out of the curch, to the graveyard. After the funeral, we had a memorial, where many people where togheter, people had speeches, told funny stories from his old days, and we ate good food. It was more good than sad, and it was amazing to see how many people who loved him. I think it’s a very few in his age, that have almost a full curch, and so many people to the memorial.

The reason for the “Emotional Rollercoaster” is that I got some very exciting news on Friday to. As you may have read before, my plan was to become an exchange student this fall. And I have probably got a family. And it seems perfect for me! My highest wish was to be placed a place where I could swim, and near a big city. And guess what? A girl in my age was contacting me, and she said that she thougt I was going to be their exchangestudent. She is a swimmer, and the school has a 50m pool. And the family lives just a few minutes from Indianapolis. It couldn’t be better!

Nothing is official yet, so it’s absolutley not sure that I will end up there. But I have been soo excited. And I had such a good feeling. I wasn’t sure I wanted to do the exchange anymore, but now I do! It’s just my health that has made me feel that way, because this is really what I dream of. I just have to see if I will recover more soon.

How are you today?

Love Kristin

 

Hello people!

Today I wanted to talk about hate. The huge reason for why I choose this picture, is because maaaaaaany people “hate” Justin Bieber. First of all, I gotta say, I LOOOOOVE HIM!!!! Hahahhaha Yes, I am one of those “Belibers” 😛 Many people might find this very “jailbait” ( do you use that word? In Norway, that is the term of girls who act very childish, but at the same time trying to be like adults). We might lose some followers or readers because of this post, but the theme of the post is hate. Why do we hate people? Is it because of jealousy? Anger? The satisfaction by promote yourself as a better person? To be honest, I think it is jealousy. When we are jealous, negative thoughts spin inside our heads. We think “why doesn’t I have that?”, “why is he/she better than me?”, “I wanna be like her” etc… Only negative thoughts. And that ruins a lot! Mostly, it ruins for ourself.

So back to Justin Bieber. It is perfectly legally to don’t like an artists music. It is normal, and acceptable. But, why hate him? He is only 18 years old. He is still a teenager, and he has been criticiced since he was 14 and posted his music videos on Youtube. He was in a vulnerable age, and no wonder he had so many negative thoughts. He has achieved lot, he has won several prices, released many albums and he has a great voice (I think so, and 40 million other people). My point is, to all of you haters, why even bother to hate him? You use incredible lot of energy, in a negative way, that only cause you more negative things… And yes, I do “hate” some artists myself… I need to let go of these thoughts.

Everyone is allowed to have their own opinion, and I am just 17 🙂

Todays compliment: I have beautiful nails 🙂

Marte

The sky is the limit

I like to be good at something, and I absolutley love to be the best. Therefore I try to do a lot of the things I’m good at, to strenghten my confidence. But it’s also important to do things you are not so good at, or have to work hard with, because nothing is better than the sense of achievement. You can of course live your life within your little comfort sone, but if you dare to challenge yourself, you will experience that you can do so much more. If you really want to,you can do it!

This is  one of the keys to success.

Are you staying in your comfort zone, or are you challenging yourself? Ever had an great feeling of achievement before?

Love Kristin

I really love that picture. Hahaha today, I thought of something (I know, I think to much) that I really care about other peoples opinion. The other day I ordered some shorts from Runwaydreamz (birthday present), and when I showed my mother the shorts I had selected, she said “you can find much better shorts to such a lower price than that!” But I loved them, and I ordered them. If this situation happened some years ago, I probably wouldn’t have ordered them. Well, when it comes to my family, I don’t care about situations that silly, when it comes to clothes, shoes and looks, thats my descision, so I can laugh at it when I get older 😛 Either way, I am one of those people who care alot of what people think. If I for an example feel healthy, and someone says “Marte, you look sick!”, I start to think “Ohhh no, do I??” And as a result, I get sick. According to the law of attraction, If you say “I don’t want to sick”, you do get sick, because the law does not answer to words like no, don’t or other negative words. The law responses to what you are thinking of and what you want, but if you use negative words, you will get that too. What I am trying to say is, do we really need other peoples opinion? Do we need other people to approve what we are thinking and mean? I don’t see the point, we are supposed to be independent people with our own opinions, and even though the society says something else, we are not suppose to care… BUT WE DO! If someone said to me that I was a mean person, I would have thought of it, even though that I know that I am not. It is like poison, it brings no good.and spreads quickly. Therefore, when I saw this picture on weheartit, I instantly liked it. If we care less, smile more and try to feel good ( which is very important for receiving things), we will:
1. Feel better about ourself.
2. Get a higher confidence.
3. Laugh more.
4. Be more spontanius.
5. Receive more.

The biggest part of the Secret, is btw to feel good. And those tips seem very smart 🙂

What do you mean about this? 🙂

Marte

I took a sad goodbye today

I had to take a sad goodbye today. I woke up to the message that my grandad was dead. It wasn’t coming like a big suprise, he was 90 years old, had not eat, just been sleeping the last days. But still, it’s impossible to prepare for a loss of a person who means a lot to you.  He was soo funny, nice, caring and wise. He had always a comment ready, and he kept his humor until the last days. But he was tired, and the body was not with him anymore. He spent his last year or two at a nursinghome, were he was very good taken care of.

It’s very sad and empty now, but in a natural way. There are a few things everyone have to go through, to be born, and to die. It is the circle of life. I read this a few months ago in the book Black Mamba Boy, and I remembered it today: ” Sometimes the dead are more alive than the living, no-one really dies, not while there are people who remember and cheris them”.  It’s beautiful and very true.

It ha been a tough day though, we went to the smalltown me dad is from, where we met my aunts and uncles. I have seen one dead person before, that eas my grandmother, but that’s many years ago. The first minutes was very intense, and scary, his skin was turning almost yellow, and he did not look like my grandfather. At first, but after a while, I could see how peaceful he was. One of the sadest moments was when one of my aunts (wich has a kind of brain injury, so she is more like 10 years old, than a 50 years old), was going to say bye to her dad. The night before she said something like “Poor, sweet dad. He is going to Jesus soon”, but she was also worried because he could not drink milk. Even though the situation was sad, you have to smile of her sometimes. Today my dad said “He is dead now, he is not breathing anymore. He is in heaven, with mom now.” And she was like “No, he is not, he is lying right there, don’t you see?”.

Later we went up to church with the coffin, and had a small cermony with a open coffin. He was so peacefull with a beautiful flower in his folded hands, from his own garden. I am not very religious, but at that moment, when I looked at him, I could see that he was at a better place now, and that it has to be something more after the life on earth.

I’m sure that he was not afraid of dying. My grandmother died six years  ago, his four brothers are dead, and many of his friends. He was also very religious, so he knew that he was going to a better place. And if there are such as heaven, he is the first one to get in. He worked most of his life in church, and has lived a great life. He has lived a good life, he has 5 children, 11 grandchildren and 3 great-grandchildren. I love my family soo much, and I’m sure that he was proud of it.

Rest in peace, and sleep well.

Love Kristin

Last night, I couldn’t sleep. To many thoughts spinned inside my head. To be honest, I was negative. I thought of all the people I was jealous about and in the end, I became upset. Everyone has those days, right? 🙂 Well, because I couldn’t sleep, I started to read the Secret. The thing about the Secret, is that unmatter how many times I descide to finish it, I never do. I think I have started to read it like four times, but last night, I finally finished. The reason for why I never finished, was because it is a lot of info, and your mind and way of thinking totally change during the book. It is a lot to handle in short time, therefore, I like to read small pieces from it day to day.

Nevertheless, when I thought those negative thoughts, I started to think about compliments. Many people say that one bad comment, measure up 100 good compliments. And I agree on that one. It is hard to think positive thoughts about yourself, and the reason is that you don’t want to seem superior. You don’t want people to think that you think that you are better than someone else. Therefore, we start to think negative thoughts and negative things about ourself. THIS IS WRONG! It totally destroyes your confidence, and ability to be satisfied with yourself as a person in this world.

For some years ago, I had a fight with my bestfriend (not Kristin). We fought and argued and we sad some really bad things to each other. It ended up that we both said things we never should have said, and when we became friends, I never really forgot the thing she said about me. Unmatter how many times she apologized, I couldn’t forget it. I know she said it just to hurt me, but it felt like she stabbed me in my heart. Now I laugh at the whole situation. We were young, and childish. And we are good friends today.

But, why is it that we always think about the negative? It totally destroyes everything! People must learn to accept compliments, and to give! A small thing you notice, for an example: “You look great today” can really brightend your day up. At least mine do. When people say positive things about me, I embrace it. I remember it, and I really appriciate it. It makes me feel good. That people think something good about me, and see me as something positive.
And really, people who say something bad about you and doesn’t even know you, they are the weird ones. It is very hard to just accept that some people think you are something that you’re not, but that is their descision, and their problem. If they really want to spend their energy thinking something of you that you’re not, that is up to them. I need to learn this too.

Today’s compliment: I get easily tan 🙂

Marte

Paradise

I love this song. It’s beautiful, but I can’t decide if it is sad or not. I think the song is about this little girl, who had big dreams, and expected the world to come to her. Then she grew up, and reality hit her. The song is very touching for me, because I can relate to it so easily, especially after the last year. I have always been a dreamer, and I’m still. But life looks less complicated when you are little.

This is a picture of one of the moments I felt I almost was in paradise. On a beautiful beach, on an island in Malaysia. I am very lucky to have the opportunity to travel.

Do you have a song who means something special to you? And where is your paradise?

Love Kristin