marteandkristin

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The power of willpower

When I turned on the TV today, I watched MTV’s program called “I used to be fat”. I really like that program. It is about teenagers who struggle with something, and have started to use food as a way to deal with things. As a result, they are very heavy. During the show, we see that they struggle to fight. They think they are not strong enough. They begin questioning their will, and what power it has. That is why I really like that show, because in the end, they all achieve what they want, and they relaize that they can do whatever they want. I think that is amazing. Confidence, and know that you have a power inside you, that doesn’t only bring things into your life, but it helps you do the things you are afraid of and accomplice what you want. Because face it, everyone has a picture of how your life should be. At least I do. Today my goals are to be as good as I can be in swimming, get good enough grades to go to lawschool, get the fit body I always have wanted, be more spontanenous, judge less, bless more and think more positive thoughts. During the years, I have realized that willpower is a huge thing. When I went to primaryschool I didn’t had any confidence, and I honestly thought that I was useless. Probably because I struggled with reading and writing, I sucked gymclass and I wasn’t satisfied with my self.

I remember one day when we sat in a group at school, and everyone were supposed to say something good about someone else. When it was my turn to receive a compliment, people said that I was sweet. Sweet doesn’t exactly say something about what I am good at, so when I went home, I descided that now I wanted to be good at school and be better at sports. And I did. When it was time for me to begin in 8th grade, I was one of the smartest and the strongest in gymclass. I succeded because of my willpower.

So today, when I saw these teenagers, at the same age as me, I remembered that I can do whatever I want. I have a strong willpower, and this has grown in me for the last years. If I really want to do something, I do it. Nothing can ever stop me, if I really want something 🙂 I like that thought 🙂 It makes me happy and positiv, and the same comes to you! You just need to make a choice that you want it 🙂

Todays compliment: I have nice blue eyes with sunflowers in the middle 🙂

Marte

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I just wanted to tell you..

That I actually had this little feeling of happiness today. I was swimming, the sun was shining through the windows, and I felt better! Not a big change, but I felt that my body was playing on my team today, not against me. This week has been one of the best since I got sick in October. I went to swimpractice three times (only a few meters compared to what I usually do, but still). Maybe The Secret is starting to work, or the acupuncture, the healthy pills, or the fact that we made this blog and have got soo many beautiful comments and advices? It’s probably a combination.

How do you feel today?

Love Kristin

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Barbie and Ken - true perfection?

The first thing that I thought of this morning was my homework. The feeling that I am done with everything that needs to be done 🙂 What a wonderful feeling. Not only have I satisfied my parents, teachers, grandparents and my classmates, but I have finished what the society expects from me. Let me repeat; what a wonderful feeling!

If you think about it, there are many expectations to you as a person in this world. We must have good grades, look beautiful, be smart, be social, be kind, lovely, be good at sports and of course be a normal functional person in the society. I have always struggled with this. My father, which I do look very up to, even though he has hurt me and my family, were perfect, and I have always heard that. In Norway, we have a different gradesystem than in Britain and the USA, as I am aware of. We have grades from 1- 6, 6 is the best and 1 is the worst. My dad graduated with 6.0. He was also very talented in football, and people look very up too him. In 10th grade, I did graduated as one of the best with 5.4, but I felt it wasn’t enough.. Not only do I work hard at school, but I train every day and work as a swimcoach and as newspaper seller. And the reason is because of expectations. The society wants us to be barbies, with no flaws or failures. It is truly exhausting. As the years have past, I have got a better confidence. I don’t always see flaws and things that needs to be better anymore, because we all have our good days, right? Well, I don’t look like Victoria’s Secret models, and I don’t have the perfect body. More than anything I wan’t to look secure when I am in a bikini, and no, I am far from being fat, but I don’t have the “perfect look” either. I guess, that because of our high demands, we feel pressured. At least I do. I don’t feel perfect, and unmatter how flawless I want to be, or how dressed up I am, I can still find flaws. The weird thing though, is that I don’t really find huge flaws about others. I only care about myself. I am not good enough, not good enough to be a barbie.

One other thing, is that I don’t want to let people down. There are many times that I just want to screw school, and “flow with the wind”, but I can’t do that.. I want to be lawyer. A succeded person. My father and mother always brag about me, and I know that they are very proud of me. When I get grade 4, they support me, but it is not a good grade. I get disapointed, and I feel that 4 is like 1. Even 5 isn’t good enough, only 6.. Because of those feelings, I get disapoined, a lot.

I do think this as something to do with happiness. I have been through some tough times, and because of that, I have felt very insecure. I want to make everyone satisfied, especially my parents, because of everything that as happened. If everyone in the society expected less, I do think that we would have been more satisfied with our self. It is a positive thing though, to push yourself, but make sure that you don’t get exhausted. Been there, done that, and this is still something I need to work on.

Therefore, to build myself a better confidence, I will start to say something positive about myself everyday and in every post I post on this blog. Not to brag about myself, but to prove that this “perfect society” is bullshit, and that EVERYONE should be satisfied with themselfes.

I am very good at giving compliments to others, haha 🙂

You should give yourself a compliment, you will feel better 🙂 And, don’t think that I don’t like my job or swimming, I LOVE IT, but sometimes, we all can be a little tired 🙂

Marte

The best and the worst.. Life has many aspects

Before I start, I will first say that I have soo much to be thankful for, and that the last year have been one of mye best.

– I went out from 10 th grade as one of the best students in class.

– This summer I participated Nationals, in two relays, and it was one of the best things I’ve done! Have never been soo happy, and proud of myself before.

– Got a new, very talented coach. And our swimclub is reaching new heights!

– I got the best class I could ever imagine when we started at the new school in August. I love my class. And my teachers are great. And my results in school are better than ever, even though I have been sick.

– I have made soo many new, amazing friends.

All of that was great, and this year has in many ways been my best…But also the worst. I believe that it will help to write things down, and maybe hear some advices and supporting words from others. Maybe this is one of the reasons that I got so sick, and I’m going to be very honest now. Even though I hate to admint that I’m not always the “superwoman” I would like to be.

I can take it from last February. I was quite sick of everything, some of mye bestfriends trained with another swimteam because of our old coach. He had been in our club for more than 20 years, and he was a very special man. In both positive and negative ways. He was very arguing, and didn’t take criticism at all. But he was soo caring. I’m a person that hate conflicts, and had a good realationship with my coach, as I have with everyone else. But I was stuck in the middel of everything, my friends, my coach, and even the board in our club  came to me.. “Kristin do that..Kristin what are they saying about that” And so on. On top of that I was very tired, and had a lot to do in school and with friends. One day, we were watching a movie in class, and then, suddenly I gasped. I thought I was going to faint, but my bestfriend gave me some water, and I went home. Late that night I felt that I could not breathe, and since I never had felt something like that before, I was sure it was something very wrong with me. We went to the emergency, I was hyper-ventilating, crying, and were very shaken. It was fortunately nothing wrong with me. But the doctor gave me a sedative pill to calm down. My doctor said it was a stress or panic attack, and that I just had to calm down a bit.

I skipped some practices, but after I week I was back in normal, like nothing had happend. And I had an amazing spring, and start of the summer. But then, the summer turned. I’m sure that most of you have heard about 22/7-2011. A bomb went off  in the governmentbuilding, and is was a shooting  on Utøya. We have always believed that Norway was the most secure place on earth. Also did the teenagers who were attending a political summercamp on Utøya. My friend was one of the 77 persons who died that day. The beautiful girl, who was my bestfriend in 2nd and 3rd grade (about 8 years old). She was always protecting me, when this boy with disabled social skills, said he would beat us up, and so on.   I have never seen her angry, she was always smiling, laughing, or singing. I just can’t understand that someone could hurt her, or anyone else. When we grew older, we came in different classes and had different friends, but talked to her on school, or on the bus. When I heard that my friend was on Utøya I was praying for her, and I can just imagine how her family and bestfriends felt. I can’t believe that this happened to Norway, so near where I live, and to a girl I have known since kindergarden. I’m still not believing it.

I were on vacation in Greece when all this happened, and just a few days after 22/7, my family friend got a heart attack, when he, my dad and I was swimming in the ocean. He spent some weeks in hospital and recovered. But it was scary, and I remembered how I felt that night in February. On top of all this, another girl on my school lost both her parents in a boat accident earlier that summer.It’s terrible.

All this really made its impact on me. But life went on, and I  had so much going on that it was no time to think so much about it. But after I got sick I’ve sometimes been feeling very stressed and like I’m having a kind of panic. Last summer was really a big realitycheck for me. I was so happy, and then  it felt like something were punched in my face. I understood that life could really be unfair.

This was a lot, but I think it will be good for me to share it with you.

Love Kristin

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KONY 2012 - appricate what you have.

Today I woke up by that my Ipod messaged me that I had got an new notification on Facebook. Because I am sick, I am home and repairing my body. The last days, I have accepted that I have an infection in my body, and it needs to heal, and that I am healing in this second. I have been very negative about that, thinking: ” ahhhh I can’t train, what will happen with my swimpractise…” or ” I am so tired of being sick, there is no end …” etc…. Negative feelings and negative thoughts. I discover that I do complain a lot, or not all the time, but I complain. I bet everyone on this planet complain sometimes. Like ” ahhhh must we have that to dinner again” or ” I really need that jacket because the one I got is old” etc…
The Secret teach us that we must appricate things we have. If we constantly think about the things we don’t have, we only bring things that we don’t want, into our lives. We must be grateful. Especially countries and continents like the USA and Norway and other countries that belongs to the rich part of the world. We have so many options, so many choices and we live in a community were people take care of us. At least here in Norway, the community take care of us from the day we are born and to the day we die.
Nevertheless, the notifcation I got on Facebook, told me about a sort of campaign. The campaign is named “KONY 2012”. As many of us know, in Africa, especially Uganda, there are several sorts of riots. Children soliders, rapes, killing, food disasters, not enough water etc… Things we can’t imagine living with and without. The campaign is about a man named Joseph Kony. He is the leader of a rebelgroup called LRA. He kidnaps children, torture them, make the girls become sexslaves, makes young children kill people especially their own parents, cut their arms, legs and neck of and he drug children with several different narcotics. He is the first man on the list of “The worlds most dangerous people”, and eventhough he has admitted his crimes, he is not arrested. Many people don’t know who he is, but this campaign wants to change that. The USA has sent over hundreds of soliders in Uganda to arrest Joseph Kony, but because people in the society don’t know who he is, and that it is not enough money, they want to cancel it. Therefore, this campaign is about making Joseph Kony worldfamous. Everyone should know what people in Uganda is going through, and by searching ” Invisible Children” on Facebook, you can join the group and support this case. On April 20th, people around the world will be gathered in streets all over the world to post severeal posters in the street to make Joseph Kony famous. If you still want to know more, please watch this video: http://www.youtube.com/​watch?v=Y4MnpzG5Sqc

This is important! Not only for Uganda, but for the world.

After watching this, I started to think. I became ashamed for complaining. I have never in my life felt afraid being killed, raped or losing a family member in a situation like that. The children in Uganda, who are slaves and children soliders, they have the right to complain! We have everything and anything, and most people in Uganda have nothing. This was a “wake up call” for me, I really started to appricate what I have. I have a family who loves me, several different friends, I go to the school I want, I can swim, I can speak my own opinion and I can be whatever I want! I have enough food, water, clothes and money. I can’t really imagine living a life like the people in Uganda does, or live a life in poverty, which many people in this world do.

Appriciate what you have and be grateful. You as a reader at this blog must have a connection to the internet, and that shows us that everyone who reads this, can be grateful.

And please, please join “Invisible children” on Facebook, or you can go on this website http://s3.amazonaws.com/kony2012/kony-4.html (kony2012.com) to join this change for peace.

Appricate what you got. You will not only feel better about yourself, but you will bring more good things to your life 🙂

Marte

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I started to think about something. Who am I? How do people look at me as a person? Do they think I am nice? a good girl? pretty? smart? stupid? I have always heard that your past defines you. By reading the Secret, I know I must let go of my negative emotions and feelings from the past, but for me, that is not that easy.
You see, I have changed a lot during the years, actually several times. My life has taken several diffrent directions and turned my life up-side down so many times. I hear all the time ” Ahhh I remember how you were before Marte!, HAHAHAHA”. People laugh,and I do to. Maybe I was a little weird, but there is more that meets the eye.

When it comes to my looks, I have always been a little chubby. Hanging around with Barbies didn’t exactly give me confidence. Luckily for me, my dad is a personal trainer. We started to work out when I was about 12 years old, and my weight slowly went away. I became happier. We started to work out with a woman, called “Mary”. Mary was tan, fit and very friendly. I liked her, and I looked up to her. But, life took a direction. It turned out that my father had an affaire with this woman. A lot happened. Mary started to call me and theratened me about my family, and that if she would do anything to ruin my family. This chase actually went to court. My dad ended up with sitting six months in jail. This period lasted over three years. At first I didn’t tell anyone about it. I kept it all inside me, and that was difficult. Kristin was one of the first people I told it to, she is such a good friend, and without her, I wouldn’t have survived. During that period, I changed. I was now responisble for my family while my dad was gone. My mom descided to forgive my dad, and their marriage today is better than ever. I have one little sister, and I felt really responsible for her during this time. At the time, she was only eight years old, and didn’t understood alot. Because of all of this, I changed. I didn’t really appriciate things, didn’t really “love ” my life and my swimming, sucked.

My point is, during the last years, I am finally over this. I have actully got a confidence, and I am really satisfield with my life. I have forgiven my father, but I am still very bitter and angry sometimes. I became an adult very quick, and therefore I also think many negative thoughts , because of everything that as happened. I am really trying to change my way of thinking, but it will take some more time. Life is beautiful, and things will always be better, unmatter how dark it seems 🙂

Marte

A big decision

My plan is to take a exchange year in USA from August. To take the senior year in American High School, and experience the school spirit, prom, and be a part of a sport team, in my case swimming. I have always been intrested in other cultures, and to be a part of an american family seems to be the perfect oportunity the really be a part of another culture. To be a part of a small community, or live in a big city. I have soo much to learn and see, and I feel that I can teach others about Norway too. I love people, and I am genuinely interested in them. I enjoy conversations with people in all ages.

United States of America is also the land of DREAMS. We have learned about the Declaration of Independence in school, and that you actually have the right to be happy. 

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

Isn’t that beautiful?! In Norway we have something called “the Law of Jante”.

The ten rules state:

  1. Don’t think you’re anything special.
  2. Don’t think you’re as good as us.
  3. Don’t think you’re smarter than us.
  4. Don’t convince yourself that you’re better than us.
  5. Don’t think you know more than us.
  6. Don’t think you are more important than us.
  7. Don’t think you are good at anything.
  8. Don’t laugh at us.
  9. Don’t think anyone cares about you.
  10. Don’t think you can teach us anything.
It’s so depressing, why is individuals not supposed to have success? It’s of course not an official law, but still..everyone knows about it. So, you may understand why America is a dream to me?
But to the point, my problem is my health. Both physical and mental. After 5 months beeing sick, the only thing I want is to have back my normal life. Swim, be with friends, and feel fresh. America will always be there, and I can go to college, or work there later. But at this moment my application is beeing sent around the USA, in search of a hostfamily to me! A family who wanted to host me for a year, I can have a second family for the rest of my life. Meet people from every corner of the world..
 A dream is about to come true. But I’m not sure if it is a dream for me anymore. Or if I am able to do it right now. I don’t know if I should listen to my body, and set my dream on wait. I am going over there some day, I am just not sure if I am going to do it yet. I have to remind myself that I’m just 17, and still have my whole life infront of me.
PLEASE, give me some wise words. What would you do? Any experiences with exchangestudents? College in America? Going on a big journey? Or just living in USA? Please tell me 🙂
Love Kristin
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Today, I got some good news. I was at my doctor, and because I have an infection I feel very lousy. I am not ass ill as Kristin, but I have had the flu three times since January 1st. Even though I have started to think positive thoughts, I do feel a little bit of bitterness. I haven’t been able to train as I should for several weeks now, and we recent got a trainer, who as got several swimmers to the Olympics! Yes, I hunger to train! But, it will take some more time. Nevertheless, because it was sunny today, I started to think about what I look forward to 🙂 And many of those things has to do with summer. I love summer! The weather, the temperature, the ocean, the beach, bikinies, the sun, hanging out with friends, travel etc…
When it is sunny outside, I automatically get a better day. Do you?
So, this year, this summer, will be special. My family always travels to Greece for three weeks, and this year is no exception 🙂 We travel to a place called Hanioti in Halkidiki. It is not a big city, but the people are so nice and very friendly. I totally recommend it. This year, I will also travel to Torremolinos in Spain on a training camp (swimming) with my swimming team. I look so forward to this 🙂
I also look forward to just relax. My day is very hectic and I stress to much and to often. I need a vacation, and maybe I am not the only one? 🙂 To look forward to things makes me happy, and when I am happy, I am positive 🙂 Recommend that to!
Anyway, I hope you also had a good day 🙂 And I am looking forward to my time in the sun 🙂

What do you look forward to? 🙂

Marte.

What makes me happy?

People I love

Family and friends is very important to me.

My friends can cheer me up on my worst days. They can tell me how important I am, and all the best sides of me. They make me laugh until I’m on the floor, crying. It’s good to have a person you can tell everything.

My family is always there for me. They know who I am. And yes, we really argue,and discuss sometimes, but I’m glad that I can tell them what I feel and means. My littlesister   is 7 years old, and makes me the cutest drawings, and letters, telling me how much I means to her.  That’s love.

The future

The future is the land of dreams. I can do everything. Nothing, but myself, can stop me from doing what I want. It is scary, but it’s also amazing. I am a dreamer, and my Bucket List is soo long! I wonder where and who I am in 20 years from now. I want to have a job I love. Maybe I’ll be a writer in NYC, extremlely rich in California, have a wine yard in Italy, live in a beach house on a beach in Australia, or “just” in a big white tree house whit a huge family in my hometown in Norway?  It’s fantastic how I can create my own future.

To travel

I love to travel, and experience the world. I’m very thankful that my family have traveled quite much. And that we have friends in other parts of the world, none can show you a place better than a local.  I’m going to have a relaxing week in Spain in April, go to my cousins wedding in Edinburgh, Scotland in May, and go to Italy on a summer vacation in June. Three countries in three months, I have soo much to look forward to!

All the  photos are from weheartit.com

This is some of the things that makes my life beautiful. What makes YOU happy?

Love Kristin

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If you are a perfect human creature that only think positive thoughts, you are my hero. As I have mentioned before, I do think many negative thoughts during the day, and that only gives my more negative situations to handle. Seems unfair? Well, our thoughts become things. That is the law of attraction, so if you think positive thoughts, you will recieve positive things.
When I read this, I automatically started to think, “well, I didn’t wanted to get sick?” “drop work -outs” ” feel terrible” etc…. I got angry. I thought that I only thought positive things, but I have now discovered that even though I did think positive, I didn’t convinced my brain. My negative thoughts were still in my brain, and even though how “positive” I was, I was still negative inside….

So, I have therefore descided that now I’m going to get rid of these thoughts by writing them down.

My negative thoughts:
– get cancer.
– Never get healthy.
– not thin enough.
– get fat.
– end up alone ( haha yes).
– don’t get accepted to go to law school.
– get bad grades.
– disapoint my parents.
– not be a good sister.
– be a bad friend.
– that I don’t “live my life”.
– Being boring.
– people don’t like me.

I have so many more negative thoughts than positive, and the reason is because I constantly stress and overthink things. I am terrified that something bad is going to happen to me, but now, these thoughts can go straight to **** 😀

Think positive thoughts, it will only bring good things to your life.