Barbie and Ken – true perfection?
The first thing that I thought of this morning was my homework. The feeling that I am done with everything that needs to be done 🙂 What a wonderful feeling. Not only have I satisfied my parents, teachers, grandparents and my classmates, but I have finished what the society expects from me. Let me repeat; what a wonderful feeling!
If you think about it, there are many expectations to you as a person in this world. We must have good grades, look beautiful, be smart, be social, be kind, lovely, be good at sports and of course be a normal functional person in the society. I have always struggled with this. My father, which I do look very up to, even though he has hurt me and my family, were perfect, and I have always heard that. In Norway, we have a different gradesystem than in Britain and the USA, as I am aware of. We have grades from 1- 6, 6 is the best and 1 is the worst. My dad graduated with 6.0. He was also very talented in football, and people look very up too him. In 10th grade, I did graduated as one of the best with 5.4, but I felt it wasn’t enough.. Not only do I work hard at school, but I train every day and work as a swimcoach and as newspaper seller. And the reason is because of expectations. The society wants us to be barbies, with no flaws or failures. It is truly exhausting. As the years have past, I have got a better confidence. I don’t always see flaws and things that needs to be better anymore, because we all have our good days, right? Well, I don’t look like Victoria’s Secret models, and I don’t have the perfect body. More than anything I wan’t to look secure when I am in a bikini, and no, I am far from being fat, but I don’t have the “perfect look” either. I guess, that because of our high demands, we feel pressured. At least I do. I don’t feel perfect, and unmatter how flawless I want to be, or how dressed up I am, I can still find flaws. The weird thing though, is that I don’t really find huge flaws about others. I only care about myself. I am not good enough, not good enough to be a barbie.
One other thing, is that I don’t want to let people down. There are many times that I just want to screw school, and “flow with the wind”, but I can’t do that.. I want to be lawyer. A succeded person. My father and mother always brag about me, and I know that they are very proud of me. When I get grade 4, they support me, but it is not a good grade. I get disapointed, and I feel that 4 is like 1. Even 5 isn’t good enough, only 6.. Because of those feelings, I get disapoined, a lot.
I do think this as something to do with happiness. I have been through some tough times, and because of that, I have felt very insecure. I want to make everyone satisfied, especially my parents, because of everything that as happened. If everyone in the society expected less, I do think that we would have been more satisfied with our self. It is a positive thing though, to push yourself, but make sure that you don’t get exhausted. Been there, done that, and this is still something I need to work on.
Therefore, to build myself a better confidence, I will start to say something positive about myself everyday and in every post I post on this blog. Not to brag about myself, but to prove that this “perfect society” is bullshit, and that EVERYONE should be satisfied with themselfes.
I am very good at giving compliments to others, haha 🙂
You should give yourself a compliment, you will feel better 🙂 And, don’t think that I don’t like my job or swimming, I LOVE IT, but sometimes, we all can be a little tired 🙂